Artifact #DLM-03

 

Artifact #DLM-03 - "Behold — The Dolly Llama!"
Medium: Wax crayon on aged craft paper
Approx. Date: Unknown 
Location of Recovery: Unearthed from the false bottom of an antique toy chest

A rare, early representation of the enigmatic figure known only as The Dolly Llama. Executed in wax crayon on what appears to be well-worn craft paper, the piece captures the subject’s serene yet knowing expression — a look that suggests she has seen far too much for one so small and woolly.

Surrounding her are crude but symbolic renderings: a pacifier, a rattle, a bottle, and a plush bear. Scholars of Dolly Llama iconography suggest these may represent the Four Sacred Comforts of Nap Fu, while others argue they are simply the supplies she demanded before sitting for the portrait.

The provenance of the work remains uncertain, though the uneven letterforms and color choices suggest it may have been created by an acolyte imitating the Master’s own hoof-work… or perhaps by the Dolly Llama herself, as part of an early foray into public self-mythologising.

This relic is widely accepted among some experts as an authentic self-portrait of the  Dolly Llama — a revelation that raises more questions than it answers. Executed with unnerving precision for one of her apparent toddler years, the piece suggests either an alarming level of motor control… or the guidance of something older and stranger.

The paper shows faint smudges consistent with small, blunt hooves manipulating wax crayons. Microscopic analysis has revealed trace amounts of cheese puff dust embedded in the pigment, though whether this was accidental or ceremonial remains hotly debated among scholars.

Those who have handled the drawing often remark on the strange sensation that her eyes follow them from the page — a phenomenon skeptics attribute to the angle of the crayon shading… and believers do not attempt to explain at all.